Thank you for this honest post! I think we all need to be reminded that what we see on social media usually doesn’t apply to real experiences-no matter where you live. I appreciate your balanced essay about the pros/cons of living abroad.
A timely piece, and a thoughtful one, thank you Frances. I read it from the perspective of one who immigrated to this country 45 years ago, and has lived here as a citizen for 40 of them. We already had green cards before we set foot here. In those days, if you had multiple graduate degrees from London University, native language ability in three languages including of course English, and deposited a certain sum in your name in a U.S. bank as a guarantee that you would not be a burden on society, the process was straightforward. We left our home country because we no longer wanted to live under an authoritarian regime, even if it meant leaving family, friends, and a comfortable lifestyle behind. America represented rights and liberties, particularly freedom of opinion. Today, at our age now, it’s ironic that we find ourselves fearing the future.
I love this post as feel this for Americans who move to the UK like we did nine years ago. So many pop up on my socials complaining about UK standards (same for the driving license too). I've learned so much from living here and am beyond thankful for it. It has its ups and downs for sure but we wouldn't change it. We have a lot of friends in the states contacting us to figure out how to move here too.
Your advice is spot-on. I sense a very different vibe about this new wave of Americans moving abroad. When I moved to Amsterdam ten years ago, it was out of adventure and delight. Now new arrivals often talk like they’re going into exile.
Which I totally get, but I hope they think as much about where they’re moving to as where they’re moving from. Because in my experience, life in a new place becomes richer in direct proportion to how much you adapt yourself to your new country instead of wishing it would adapt to you.
Wonderful story Frances! Nowadays a lot of Americans want to immigrate to European countries. Often their choice is made after a short trip e.g. to France (that's where we live part time) We however, although we are EU citizens, decided this year after a few years in France not to migrate permanently, since living at the Dutch North Sea is also an life asset. That would be my advice, not only to take in account the financial and economical part, but also the emotional and social part in your decision. Good luck to all American world movers.
Trust her! It’s really really hard. And, for us, worth all the confusion, disorientation and pain. We couldn’t be happier. Thank you for this honest piece!
I would love to know this too, Frances and Ed's reasons behind making such a huge decision and what led up to it. I know Frances touches on it a little in her books, but it would be interesting to find out more about what started them on the road to taking the plunge.
Italy always felt like an expansion of my life. A different era, too. Instead of fleeing a hostile environment in the US, as so many now are, I was drawn to Italy for its beauty, art, cuisine, music, gardens—all the good things that make daily life happy. Best decision ever.
I'd like writers here to remember that not everyone reading is American. Cute stories about the weird ways of Europeans (or other foreigners) read as pretty patronising and/or offensive to us natives.
Thank you, Frances for this eye opening and thought provoking post. As often as we say, "if only we could move to Tuscany", this week brought us closer to "we should make a plan". We have our 88 1/2 year old mother who we cannot leave, and she is in great health. She would be heartbroken if we left, and we would never do that to her or ourselves. The pull has always been there through your writings, so we will see if the flame ignites when we finally get there. Stay and fight? Or leave and enjoy retirement without fear? The Universe will provide the answers. Knowing the landscape through your perspective is so helpful.
Oh we know she would but she will not get on an airplane nor a boat! in 25 years, we have only been able to get her on a plane one time to visit us in San Francisco. And a relative accompanied her. ;-)
I agree that everyone's experience is different, even when pursuing the same goal. I know people here in Cortona that are going through the same process that my wife and I are doing right now and their experience has been different from ours - even though we're going to the same offices.
The other thing that changes, though, is your reason for being "away." As we've grown into our experience of being out of the US (only 6 months a year at this point) our perceptions of not only *that* we want to be here, but also *why* we want to be here have changed. We suspect that they will continue to change. Your thoughts on getting acclimated and accustomed to the place and the experience are exactly right. While one size does not fit all for the mechanical process of establishing a residence abroad, the more important part is trying to figure out the *why* above the *how*.
“You are a babe again” sums it up so well. It’s definitely not for everyone, but if you ha a beginners mind it makes the transition easier. Also thx for the shout out. 🥰
I will continue to live in Norway for the rest of my life, and continue to travel as much as I can. For the moment I am in Småland, Sweden (the Astrid Lindgren land). Later in the autumn I will continue to beloved Italy. Thanks for sharing photos from beautiful Bramasole.
Many who leave do continue to remain active. Might not be marching--but still might be donating to candidates, voting, contacting representatives, staying informed... It will be interesting to see if there's a return if and when the situation changes.
I think there are as many reasons to stay as to leave, and as you rightly point out, many can't make that choice even if they'd want to. Some who are choosing to leave are fleeing so that they may be around long enough to continue the fight; others will have more energy and strength to fight when that's the bulk of what they can focus on (rather than mere survival). I hear your pain and anger in here; I'd imagine, though, that people making the choice to leave are not doing it without a lot of thought and hand-wringing.
I moved to the UK before the proverbial...... hit the fan. I will never go back to the US to live. In terms of social norms it has changed almost beyond recognition to me. You are right in that most Americans won't be able to quickly box their belongings and move just because they disagree with this administration. There needs to be a solid reason to get accepted into another country, such as sought after professional skills. Or get married to a non American like I did. I suppose if you are very rich, there are ways and means. Both Frances (part time) and I (full time) started new lives in Europe prior to 9/11 and it was a little easier then. As for people who do manage to make the move to Europe, I think some of them are doing it as the opportunities in their field of work, especially in STEM, are very good here since Trump is defunding a lot of research.
Thank you for this honest post! I think we all need to be reminded that what we see on social media usually doesn’t apply to real experiences-no matter where you live. I appreciate your balanced essay about the pros/cons of living abroad.
Agree!!! Excellent writing about the reality of living in another country.
So agree!
A timely piece, and a thoughtful one, thank you Frances. I read it from the perspective of one who immigrated to this country 45 years ago, and has lived here as a citizen for 40 of them. We already had green cards before we set foot here. In those days, if you had multiple graduate degrees from London University, native language ability in three languages including of course English, and deposited a certain sum in your name in a U.S. bank as a guarantee that you would not be a burden on society, the process was straightforward. We left our home country because we no longer wanted to live under an authoritarian regime, even if it meant leaving family, friends, and a comfortable lifestyle behind. America represented rights and liberties, particularly freedom of opinion. Today, at our age now, it’s ironic that we find ourselves fearing the future.
I love this post as feel this for Americans who move to the UK like we did nine years ago. So many pop up on my socials complaining about UK standards (same for the driving license too). I've learned so much from living here and am beyond thankful for it. It has its ups and downs for sure but we wouldn't change it. We have a lot of friends in the states contacting us to figure out how to move here too.
please add to your list- the wonderful sunsets that kept us all so happy especially during covid when we couldn't go around much.
Your advice is spot-on. I sense a very different vibe about this new wave of Americans moving abroad. When I moved to Amsterdam ten years ago, it was out of adventure and delight. Now new arrivals often talk like they’re going into exile.
Which I totally get, but I hope they think as much about where they’re moving to as where they’re moving from. Because in my experience, life in a new place becomes richer in direct proportion to how much you adapt yourself to your new country instead of wishing it would adapt to you.
Totally agree.
Not an American but a fan of staying in countries with slow travel. I must say what’s not to love about the view from your lovely Italian home. Bella
Wonderful story Frances! Nowadays a lot of Americans want to immigrate to European countries. Often their choice is made after a short trip e.g. to France (that's where we live part time) We however, although we are EU citizens, decided this year after a few years in France not to migrate permanently, since living at the Dutch North Sea is also an life asset. That would be my advice, not only to take in account the financial and economical part, but also the emotional and social part in your decision. Good luck to all American world movers.
Trust her! It’s really really hard. And, for us, worth all the confusion, disorientation and pain. We couldn’t be happier. Thank you for this honest piece!
Thank you, Frances. How did you ever have the courage to make that move when you did?
I would love to know this too, Frances and Ed's reasons behind making such a huge decision and what led up to it. I know Frances touches on it a little in her books, but it would be interesting to find out more about what started them on the road to taking the plunge.
Italy always felt like an expansion of my life. A different era, too. Instead of fleeing a hostile environment in the US, as so many now are, I was drawn to Italy for its beauty, art, cuisine, music, gardens—all the good things that make daily life happy. Best decision ever.
Ha! Impulsive, I guess!
I'd like writers here to remember that not everyone reading is American. Cute stories about the weird ways of Europeans (or other foreigners) read as pretty patronising and/or offensive to us natives.
Thank you, Frances for this eye opening and thought provoking post. As often as we say, "if only we could move to Tuscany", this week brought us closer to "we should make a plan". We have our 88 1/2 year old mother who we cannot leave, and she is in great health. She would be heartbroken if we left, and we would never do that to her or ourselves. The pull has always been there through your writings, so we will see if the flame ignites when we finally get there. Stay and fight? Or leave and enjoy retirement without fear? The Universe will provide the answers. Knowing the landscape through your perspective is so helpful.
She might love it here!
Oh we know she would but she will not get on an airplane nor a boat! in 25 years, we have only been able to get her on a plane one time to visit us in San Francisco. And a relative accompanied her. ;-)
I agree that everyone's experience is different, even when pursuing the same goal. I know people here in Cortona that are going through the same process that my wife and I are doing right now and their experience has been different from ours - even though we're going to the same offices.
The other thing that changes, though, is your reason for being "away." As we've grown into our experience of being out of the US (only 6 months a year at this point) our perceptions of not only *that* we want to be here, but also *why* we want to be here have changed. We suspect that they will continue to change. Your thoughts on getting acclimated and accustomed to the place and the experience are exactly right. While one size does not fit all for the mechanical process of establishing a residence abroad, the more important part is trying to figure out the *why* above the *how*.
“You are a babe again” sums it up so well. It’s definitely not for everyone, but if you ha a beginners mind it makes the transition easier. Also thx for the shout out. 🥰
I will continue to live in Norway for the rest of my life, and continue to travel as much as I can. For the moment I am in Småland, Sweden (the Astrid Lindgren land). Later in the autumn I will continue to beloved Italy. Thanks for sharing photos from beautiful Bramasole.
Such a great time to leave the US. Thanks for this push, as we are considering so many places at this time! : )
Many who leave do continue to remain active. Might not be marching--but still might be donating to candidates, voting, contacting representatives, staying informed... It will be interesting to see if there's a return if and when the situation changes.
I think there are as many reasons to stay as to leave, and as you rightly point out, many can't make that choice even if they'd want to. Some who are choosing to leave are fleeing so that they may be around long enough to continue the fight; others will have more energy and strength to fight when that's the bulk of what they can focus on (rather than mere survival). I hear your pain and anger in here; I'd imagine, though, that people making the choice to leave are not doing it without a lot of thought and hand-wringing.
I moved to the UK before the proverbial...... hit the fan. I will never go back to the US to live. In terms of social norms it has changed almost beyond recognition to me. You are right in that most Americans won't be able to quickly box their belongings and move just because they disagree with this administration. There needs to be a solid reason to get accepted into another country, such as sought after professional skills. Or get married to a non American like I did. I suppose if you are very rich, there are ways and means. Both Frances (part time) and I (full time) started new lives in Europe prior to 9/11 and it was a little easier then. As for people who do manage to make the move to Europe, I think some of them are doing it as the opportunities in their field of work, especially in STEM, are very good here since Trump is defunding a lot of research.