Markers

When an era ends

Where there was something, now I see emptiness. Like all major transitions, the place you’re moving away from begins to dissolve and the vibrant life you’re anticipating still feels out of reach. Like the moment when the graduation mortarboard thrown in the air begins to fall into your outstretched hands—a deeply meaningful slice of life ends. Driving away from campus, you know definitely that time will not return. You turn up the radio and barrel onwards. The wedding day—there’s no turning away from such a transition. Meanwhile, where the future will take place seems like a twilight zone. Births, new jobs, a change of perspective: Mourning and celebration fuse. Moving is one of those. You are about to change. Even if you’ve moved on often, you feel the soles of your feet sizzling, the ground beneath shifting. As soon as the books are packed (in alphabetical order, thank you), you know you’re out of there and won’t be back. Is this the right decision? Remind me why we are doing this…

But things put in motion tend to stay in motion. Conflicting options pull just a bit more strongly toward the new. So you hurtle toward the vague outlines of a shimmering future.

The cats are hiding under the bed or laying claim to a favorite spot in the garden. The neighbors bring flowers, good-bye, good-bye, keep in touch. Your treasures go into climate-controlled storage. Soon the house of many joys will recede in the rear view mirror. On we go…

PS—Recommending some reading:

Why do the photos I post often get cut off!! The Philosophy of Walking is by Frédéric Gros. Campo Santo by W.G. Sebald, one of my favorite writers. Joan Mitchell’s art is a fine book to keep out for browsing. What the Earth Seems to Say is by Marie Howe—very immediate and insightful poems. Niall Williams is another favorite and I’m reading this for the second time. Everyone I’ve recommended this book to loves it and reads more of his wonderful work.

Now back to sorting through all the letters I saved from college friends and realizing how much we’ve lost by shifting to texts.